Where have all the zombies gone?
When you work in video game localization, you should play a game once in a while, or so I hear. So the beautiful wife and I picked up Resident Evil 5 (not the German version though) and I exchanged my translating tools with the PS3 controller. Having played all previous installations of this adeptly called “survival horror” title, we were looking forward to some nicely scripted zombie action while lying together in bed, we would scream and hug when things get too scary, randomly toss the joystick (hey, I played in the 80s already) when there is not enough ammo to kill the next boss and so on. Good times were to be had!
No more muzak
We did not have bad times but none of the to us so familiar Resident Evil feeling ever came up. First of all: What happened to the typewriter rooms? It used to be such a relief to open a door, be greeted by muzak and the opportunity to save your progress, only to realize that you have no ribbons left. No saving for you! Now there are checkpoints, good old, boring, predictable checkpoints.
You call that a zombie? Srsly?
I have killed my share of zombies. I have watched my share of zombies killing humans and eating their flesh, which makes the killing of said zombies so much more enjoyable. Zombies are slow, dumb, ugly and go “ARRRRRGGH”, mostly with their hands stretched out to grab some delicious human flesh. In this game, we have none of that. The mobs are fast and use all sorts of weapons. Okay, the chainsaw dude was kinda cool. Ugly they are. Zombies, they are not.
Too many shinies
I like achievements and trophies, they are a neat and somewhat recent addition to the gameplay (and to my word count when I translate and bill). In RE5, there are all sorts of things to look out for: some sort of emblem to shoot and collect, gems on the walls to sell and upgrade you weapons and of course containers to break, gasoline barrels to shoot (boom) and apparently power relays you can also shoot in order to kill you enemies with the current (we never found any though). This all leads to conversations like this:
Wife and backseat player: “There is something shiny.”
Awesome me who just headshotted some scary guy: “Where?”
“It was there, to the left.”
I have a look around.
“To the left, you moved.”
I move 2.5 degrees relative to my original position to the left.
“STOP MOVING.”
I stop moving.
“Now I can’t see it anymore.”
I ponder my actions. To move a little or not too move a little? It could be sweet shotgun ammo. It could be a stupid gem. It could be that I am more afraid of my wife at this point than of any fake zombie.
